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Hello.......anyone home?Please read the disclaimer to the left of your screen. Thanks. March 18 Ooops I've been away sooooooooooo long from this space its crazy! Been working hard, not much time to da anything else. Am on holiday this week, and am having fun, and actually doing stuff for a change. Ok, the weekend was me shopping on my own as Al worked, and monday, well, I had to go to richmond to do some work with my students. But in the evening Al and I went out for dinner at a chinese buffet place in slough. Tuesday we went to Bicester Village and had a meal at the Hungry Horse there, and in the evening I went to have a girls night in Nina while Al went to Rotary. Today we took the train to windsor and grabbed lunch from M+S. We took a walk along the Long walk to the copper horse, rested and took a nice stroll back again. All this time the weather has been fantastic! Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow, aother than my CPD in the evening. Then the fun all ends on friday with a night shift for me (booooooo) saturday to relax...well, greyhounds in the evening, and sunday another nightshift before another day to recover monday. Back to work tuesday.....booooooooooooo. Hope tomorrow is good. Pippa xx June 06 Up all nightI go in for more dental surgery later. Although I've done all this before, I find myself sick with worry. I hope they agree to gas medown again, I'm worried about waking up and being called 'stupid', or 'pathetic' like last time. I find it all so stress making. And Whats Al going to think? He's asleep in the bedroom, I can't wake him. Poor guy, I've been rather moody and more stressful of late. Travelling, shifts (both his and mine), other peoples relationships are all causeing me problems. So many of my friends, friends friends and clients are breaking up at the mo, I stress that I'll be next. Last week (and for most of this week) it has pretty much eaten me inside. I thought I was going to be single again, for no real reason. Had a big chat the other evening, and I know we are fine and stable (well, Alan is anyway!) I explained why I'm stressed out, he understands (i think better tha he did)
I know he loves me, and he knows I love him, and we don't want to give each other up.
Am having big thinks about other aspects of my life mind, and am hoping some change will happen to ease things a bit. If change won't happen for me, I might have to change it myself.
Still. I'm awake. I miss my mum and dad, and the cats. I could do with a hug, but really can't wake Al.
*sigh*
Should (and could) be doing some work suff, but I left my laptop at work. I am an idiot sometimes! May 12 Random day off Had a day off today. Can't see why, as not owed one, but took the day to enjoy the sunshine (after waving Al off to work on his train) I appear to have some form of colour on me already after the weekend, of which sunday was spent sunning ourselves in Black Park and in his parents garden. Saturday (yes, going backwards here) was spent mostly sleeping till mid-day, popping home to see parents, drop off gifts, yell at dog to shut up, see one cat who won't talk to me and the other that hides in the dining room. Then we went for a bbq. Was Al's ex's birthday. First time I've met her, and I appear to have her approvel (never a bad thing) They've stayed friends after breaking up which I think is rather nice. Becky is in fact, a very nice person and I think she's a laugh. We sat upstairs chatting for a while (just about stuff, al and how we met). I think the only thing thats shocked her is I don't drink wine or eat spicy food, both these that Al loves! I say i'd always have a korma, and I drink Asti, so we're fine. Last wednesday I went to the hospital, for me pre-dental op check up. Yes, last year it was nine, this year its a further 5. Date booked already for the 6th June......talk about fast! Alan's already trying to book the day off (although with several other people off, it could be tricky) and is insisting on coming with. I love the fact they they state I can't go on public transport after surgery, although I don't know why. Last time I did, and thats coz a taxi home would have been too expensive. Not sure if Al'll insist on driving after reading the info booklet I got (this time I got everything I should have) but I'm not fussed. I was fine last time, and I had a cornish pasty straight after!! No soup for me! Anyway, Al's due home in a sec, so I better get beer ready! xxxx May 07 More ramberlings from the pathetic7th May 2008
Day off for me, and bogging in bed while boyfriend heads for a shower. I'm a bad girlfriend, don't know what gets into me at times, but I don't half do my best to push Alan away sometimes. The weekend saw us at conference staying in seperate hostels. This is because Alan booked before he knew me and I got in on the only package I could. Friday night got drunk, dumped him, told him he was single, yelled at him, got off the bus and spent 45 mins on the phone crying to him. (took 35mins for me to walk 5 mins up the path to my hostel) By saturday I was slightly more sheepish. Its ok, he still loves me. God knows why. Sunday was spent togeather, monday night I worked, came home after finishing work at 1pm. Al had rotary so could't stay. He came home at about 10.40pm and I suddenly started mentally pushing him away. My head screamed not too. Guess I'm just upset. A change in shift pattens means I'll only see him 3 full days a month. It sucks. I find that hard, seperation hard. And he'll be working till 1am sometimes. Why is it, I get involoved with people and all of a sudden life throws a curve ball. Something pushes me away? Not them, but changes in life/work/stuff. Anyway. After trying to explain whats happening to me to Alan (haha!) I'm still not convinced he understands fully. I can't explain whats happening in me, I don't get it either half the time. I was looking over this blog today (as was Alan) and I only write when this go wrong these days. Was odd reading about the past and things. Could see the parts where Mark and I fell apart, where I started seeing Struan, where that fell apart too. I never want to loss Alan, he means the world to me. Don't know what I'd do if I lost him. Wonder if I should start seeing a councelloer again? Lol, poor person wouldn't know what hit them!
Anyway breakfast in bed so I better go
Pippa xx April 08 MG, not the car!I have me a doggy, MG belongs to a client and he has set up home with my parents while his real mummy recovers.
He's snoring, as usual.
Quite sweet unless he's 1. trying to hump you, 2. trying to hump your boyfriend 3. barking 4. snoring
He's coming into work with me tomorrow, as Matt needs to check his ears are ok.
Bubble seems ok, Bacardi is hiding in the dining room. :(
Oh, and MG is named after Betty's prev dogs, monty 1, 2, 3 and Geffery! April 02 Freedom for oneThe cat is back home. Not sure where he is at the mo. Prob downstairs. He's pretty much settled back into home and seemed pleased to see Bubble. Not that the feeling was mutual. She was hiding behind the tv for a while!
Ok, he went in with a poorly tummy, and while at my clinic was border-line diabetic and prancreatic, got an eye ulcer, and now has come home with a smaller eye ulcer and a urine infection. I swear its never ending!
Hmmmm....now my life is interesting. The winds of chage are blowing, but will I change? I will go get my hair cut (if the 'dressers aren't busy)
I miss my boyfriend :( last time I saw him - this morning. Next time I see him - poss the weekend, unless I can sneek off to his thursday :p
How do I seem to end up truely head over heals I'lll never know. Still, we go well togeather, we love eachothers company, he loves me and I him.
I need some help making a desiosn, not sure what to do. I know what I want. I can't have it all though. Not right this second anyway. I feel like I'm gonna get torn in two.
I'm sure things'll work out. I just need to think and talk and think some more.
*sigh* my life is never simple.
Pippa xx March 26 Day 34 in the veterinary clinic...Bacardi has another good day.
Poor cats been in for so long he'll be like one of those people that are at a loss when they get let out of prison.
Tomorrow, he gets de-flead (over due)
His eye checked
His urine checked
his ears checked
Hope I can bring him home soon |
Music I'm listening to at the mo.
For the stars in my eyes!
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